For the past 5 years I have either been pregnant, breastfeeding or chasing around a toddler. I got pregnant with my first in April 2011 and baby number 3 just weaned from breastfeeding in June 2016. So for the past 2.5 months I have not been pregnant or breastfeeding, only chasing around 3 tiny little humans.
For as long as I can remember I have had health issues including; headaches, trouble sleeping, fatigue, nausea, what I have figured is IBS, allergies and chronic health issues including asthma and eczema. Add to this morning sickness (since I was at least 13 I have dealt with feeling nauseous daily, pregnancy just added actually being sick to that), pregnancy induced restless nights, bouts of heartburn, pain in my back/hip from pregnancy, low iron, newborn babies, breastfeeding, infections from breastfeeding, being pregnant while chasing a toddler and working full-time, being pregnant while chasing 2 toddlers, having 2 dogs, giving up a dog, teething (lots and lots of teething), more sleepless nights with newborns, more breastfeeding, more infections AND this spring a mass evacuation from my home and city. This all adds up to one very exhausted, very sick, very frustrated and easily irritated momma!
Everyday I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. Yes, I know the scriptures (even if I can’t quote them verbatim), telling me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and that when I am weak, Christ is strong and even youths will grow tired and weary but the Lord will lift me up on wings like eagles. I believe in God’s Truth and I know these scriptures, along with all of God’s Word, are true and powerful and apply to me. I can name it and claim it all day long - but really, I am so tired and as a momma of 3 littles, most days I can barely think straight, never mind walk around quoting and claiming scriptures and just resting in the arms of Jesus.
I listen to Christian music (99% of the time ;) ), I listen to sermons and Christian talk radio on my iPod, I go to church every Sunday, I read my Bible and I read a LOT of Christian books (both fiction and nonfiction). I am steeped in the Christian world. But I’m still tired and I still struggle with being sick. I don’t believe this is a lack of faith or not praying hard enough, I think I am just stuck.
Or at least at a crossroads, with my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being.
I know I need to make some serious changes to my lifestyle. I know I need to do something like a Daniel Fast and cut out pretty much everything from my diet for at least 21 days, in order to try and find out what is causing me so many issues. I know I need to set up, and stick to a routine. I need to work on getting regular exercise and getting adequate sleep. I need better time management.
The physical ailments are not only hard physically, but hard mentally as well. I believe our mental and spiritual well-being are closely related to our physical health. It’s hard to be emotionally or mentally well (aka stable!) when you are exhausted and sick all the time. And, personally, it’s hard to connect with God and have a healthy spiritual life, when you’re exhausted, sick and mentally overwhelmed and stressed.
I want to start a journey in seeking God, seeking physical health and mental well-being. I want to say I am starting, but, honestly, I am a procrastinator and I am extremely lazy and I have been putting off starting this journey for a very long time. For far too long, it’s been all talk and no action. I think what I really need is a partner, or 2, in this journey, where we can encourage and push each other along. Someone to work out with (which I do have) and someone to share healthy recipes with and maybe even cook with. Someone who is also a Christian and looking to deepen their relationship with God. I do have my husband, and he is my best friend and biggest support, but it would be nice to do this journey with another woman or even another couple.
Whatever happens next, however this journey plays out, I am hoping to keep journaling about it. In October I am going to an allergist, so I am hoping that is one step in the right direction for getting physically healthy, and I am thinking about going to a Naturopath for extensive blood work to find out all my allergies/intolerances. I will also be getting a membership at the gym as a step towards weight loss and strength building. And I am thinking in January 2017 I will be doing a 21 day fast. I am really going to need help and encouragement with that one!
One step, one day, one healthy decision at a time. I am tired of being tired. I am sick of being sick. I need to do something to get better. As my physical health continues to be bad, I can see my mental, emotional, and spiritual health declining.
I am definitely feeling very messed up and completely overwhelmed. Not sure how I am going to make the changes I need to make but praying I can figure out how and where to start and continue on this journey.
Thanks for sharing with me in one small way by reading this blog! I have written a lot more about this, but wanted to keep this somewhat short. So thank you for reading and I hope you continue to follow me as I journal my way through life! Leave a comment and let me know you’ve visited my blog and what you think!
Until next time! God bless.
