As a mom of two young girls I appreciate all the help I get from both sets of grandparents, both near and far. And I am so thankful that my oldest is developing an extremely close bond with her Nana, and that she loves spending time with all of her grandparents.
But I would like to write a word to all the grandparents out there.
We love you. We are grateful for you. We want you to have a relationship with our kids. Raising kids is hard and we need all the help we can get. We love it when you can take the kids for a few hours, or even over night! We expect that the kids will get spoiled while at your place. Hey your the grandparents, you get all the fun while us parents get the tough job of discipline and training up our children. I understand that my kid will probably get dessert even if she hasn't finished all of her supper. She'll probably watch more TV then she would at home, or stay up past her bed time. You'll feed her whatever she wants, even if you end up cooking 3 meals in an hour, and you'll buy her more things then she could ever need!
However, it takes a lot of work, time and energy to raise children and us parents put a lot of effort and thought into the rules and guidelines we place down for our children. We know that not all the rules will be followed at grandma's as they are at home, but we ask you to please respect any rules we ask you to keep. Don't let the kid hit, punch, bite, throw things, act rude, etc. Ask the parents how they want you to discipline the children and what they are comfortable with. You may have spanked your kids when they were growing up, but your kids may not be comfortable with spanking their kids, and you need to respect that.
We understand that the kids may not eat all their vegetables and probably get more sweets then we would give them, but as the parents we know what can upset our children or make them sick. If we ask you not to give the kids certain sweets or foods, because it makes them too hyper or sick, please respect that and ask what treats are ok.
And parents, a word to you, I know you put in a lot of hard work, time and
energy, taking care of those blessings and you have rules for a reason. But we
need to learn to relax and let go and understand that the grandparents love and
just want to spoil their grandchildren, because they didn't get to do that with
their children.
Parents, grandparents, as they say it takes a village to raise a child. We need
to work together. We need open and honest communication. Parents, tell the
grandparents what you'd like while your child is in their care. Ask them to
respect and follow certain rules but remember to relax and allow the kids to be
a little spoiled (especially in cases where the grandparents only see the kids
a couple times a year). Grandparents, if you plan on buying big toys, or taking
the kids out somewhere, ask the parents in advance if that's ok, and save
yourself a fight later on. We need to work together to raise these kids up in
happy, healthy homes, with rules, discipline, fun and a little bit of spoiling.
Our kids are only little for such a short amount of time, and the grandparents
know this better than us parents! So lets learn from and support one another in
this difficult, challenging, amazing adventure of raising children!
Proverbs 17:6
New International
Version (NIV)
6 Children’s
children are
a crown to the aged,
and parents are the pride of their children.
and parents are the pride of their children.
