Friday, 24 July 2015

Why So Many Kids, and Why So Soon?

Most people understand having 2 kids close in age, but more than that and they look at you like you're crazy. How could I ever find the time or energy to deal with 3 or more kids, so close in age? 
Well, I haven't figured that one out yet, cause we are still waiting for baby #3 to arrive. Though I do hear 3 kids is tough, but anything after that is easy.
I was tired and, at times, over whelmed, with one baby. My first baby cried and at times I didn't know how to make it better. My first baby took forever (well it felt like forever anyway) to figure out nursing - let's face it, we were both new at it - and at times it felt like that's all I did. My first child has temper tantrums and outbursts that I have no idea how to handle. My first child is now in the midst of learning to potty train, but I tell you, there was a lot of diapers the first 3-3.5 years. And with potty training comes a lot of accidents and extra laundry.
I also found with the first, there's so many more questions. Everything is new and it's a lot of guess work. There's a lot of great advice out there, but every mom/parent and baby is different, so there's a lot of just trying new things and seeing what works for you and your baby. With the second (and I'm assuming any babies afterward) there are still times of questioning and new issues that arise, but it's less stressful. You have an idea of what works for you - what you're comfortable with as a parent - and most of the guess work is just trying to figure out who this new baby is and what works for them. I find you're also just calmer with your second baby, because though every baby is different, you learn faster what cries are important and when baby just wants some attention, or when the child is actually injured verses just a scrape.
            Our second arrived just 2 months before our first turned 2 years old. Our first was, for the most part, sleeping in her own room, all night, most nights. She was not yet near being potty trained. And despite it being called the terrible twos, she was mostly good - normal toddler things - but look out for 3! A whole new attitude emerged.
Our second picked up on breast feeding much easier and faster than our first - I wasn't new at it this time - but it still took time to sit down and feed. She was up during the night to feed, and there was more diapers. Laundry remained about the same as their clothes are so little and they have so many outfits, I could probably go 2-3 weeks and still be able to put together a half decent outfit for each girl - it does help having 2 of the same gender :).
            Yes my husband and I, at times, were exhausted, frustrated and had no idea what we were doing. But we love our daughters so much and they bring us so much joy, we decided we wanted another baby. And yes, it would be close in age to baby #2, who is close in age to baby #1.
I had originally wanted baby #3 to come when baby #2 was 18 months, but I did not get pregnant as quickly as I had in the past and baby #3 is due when baby #2 will be 21 months old. Which I am actually thankful for, since baby #2 is proving to have quite the attitude and temper. Her "terrible twos" are starting a little early I think. Oh plus there's always the joys of teething!
            Does having a difficult, or trying, or exhausting time with one child make me nervous about having a new born so soon, or regret getting pregnant so quickly? Not a all.
Ok, yes I am nervous about having 3 little people dependant on me (and their father) for everything and how will I handle it on days when I am home all alone? But I was nervous going from 0 to 1, from 1 to 2. I think that's only normal, and there is an adjustment period no matter what.
            I am already in the midst of chaos of raising small children, why wait for things to settle down before adding in a new born?
Why wait for all the kids to be out of diapers and fully potty trained just to add a new born and a couple more years of diapers? As much as there are days when I am so tired of poop and I never want to see another diaper again, the diapering stage really doesn't last that long.
Why wait for all the kids to be sleeping through the night, every single night, on their own, just to add a new born that, who, typically, needs to get up in the middle of the night to feed? I am blessed with two children who are good sleepers. Some nights, some weeks, it felt like I would never again get a full night of sleep. Our second daughter started sleeping through the night and on her own much sooner than our first. But then around 9 months she went through a growth spurt and spent about 2-3 weeks getting up every night and ending up in our bed  - yes, we co-sleep!! - and it was so frustrating. Now our baby is 20 months old and has been sleeping in the other room with her sister for a couple months now and has only joined us in bed again a handful of times. And call me crazy, but I am looking forward to having another little one join our family and once again share a room with us. If you're wondering how this affects our marriage and intimacy, don't worry about it, we've obviously figured it out, as this is baby #3, and sharing a room with baby is what works for us - aka, it keeps mommy sane.

I completely understand that not everyone is ready or even able, to have so many kids so close together. Some want more of a space, and that's normal. Some feel they can only handle one or two children, while others seem to thrive with a large family (4 or more kids).
What I don't understand is how people think 1-2 kids is ok, 3 if the first 2 are the same gender, but anything beyond that is just crazy. They don't want to be judged for only having 1 or 2 kids (or no kids at all), yet freely judge you for
having more.
My husband and I didn't set out on our adventures of parenting with a specific number of kids in mind. I knew I always wanted at least 2 kids, and I always liked the idea of having a large family (4+ children). But thinking about how many kids you want when you're a teen/young adult and embarking on that journey of actually having kids are two very different things. 
After our first was born, I totally understood how some people choose to only have one. Babies/kids are hard, exhausting work! But as time went on and we got into the swing of being parents, I totally understood how people could have 5 (or more) children.
After our first turned a year old I said, yes I am ready to have another, I want more kids. A month later I was pregnant and 9 months after that we had our second beautiful daughter! It wasn't long after our second was born that I felt like we were meant to have a third, even if I wasn't sure on the timing.
Most people have assumed that we got pregnant again, and so fast, in hopes of having the long sought after baby boy - like our daughters aren't amazing!! And as the time of delivery approaches nearer and nearer I keep going back and forth on what I'd like the gender to be. But in the end, it doesn't matter. I didn't set out to get pregnant in hopes of having a boy - though having a chance to raise girls and boys and to give our daughters a brother would be nice - I set out to have another baby. And I have to say from the ultrasounds, that's exactly what it looks like :).
People have told us that they hope baby #3 is a boy so that we will stop having kids (how ignorant!).... like it's any of their business how many children we have, or why we choose to continue having children. Will we have a 4th child, regardless of the gender of this one? I have no idea. My husband and I have always taken this one pregnancy and, so far, one baby at a time.
We haven't based the size of our family on what gender our children are. We have been grounded in our faith and we are trusting God with the number of children and the space between children, and we do that by going on how we feel - if we are at peace with having more or are uneasy on the idea. And I trust that if our timing isn't God's timing then we won't get pregnant - as I said earlier I didn't get pregnant this third time around as quickly as I thought I would - or if we're unsure about if we should try, I imagine God is big enough to work around birth control.
            It's our family, it's our income, our house, our sanity, and my physical body - I think that means it's our choice how many children we want, as well as the timing of our children. We want to be surrounded by others, family and friends, that support us, and love us and our family. We want to be around others who understand having more than 2 kids. We want to be around positive people who actually like their own kids - and preferably like our kids too if we're all going to hang out.
We don't need to be told how hard or exhausting it's going to be - it was hard and exhausting with one! We don't need people telling us our life will be over - our life as we know it may be over, but it's really just the opening of a new, exciting chapter in life.
So lets all be a little more loving and positive towards those we meet - rather a stranger in the grocery store struggling with unruly kids, our best friend, an acquaintance and even our own family members. Let's rejoice with them in the blessings of children, no matter the size of their family. Let's be there as a shoulder to cry on when things seem like too much to handle, and let's bring them a meal or baby sit their kids so they can have a break when a new born arrives or everyone in the house is sick.

Children are a tough, exhausting, amazing blessing! Let's keep that in mind no matter what stage in life we are at. 

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