For one of the ladies bible study’s I attend, we read through and watched the accompanying videos for, Your Beautiful Purpose - Discovering and Enjoying What God Can Do Through You - by Susie Larson.
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with questions about my identity, worth and purpose. As I am sure almost every person does, male or female, young and old, religious, atheist, or otherwise.
I think we all go on a continuing journey of self discovery. And as we get older and enter new chapters in our lives, our sense of identity, worth and purpose changes.
I think, for me anyway, we tend to look at our outside circumstances as a way of identifying who we are. I am a daughter (Daughter-in-law), a sister (sister-in-law), a niece, a wife, a mother. If we have a job or career, we can find identity in this as well. There are things about these identities that will always be a part of me. I will always be a daughter, even after my parents are gone. If anything were to happen to my brother, I’d still consider myself a sister. No matter what happens to my kids, I will forever be a mother at heart.
There’s also a downfall in gaining our identify solely with outward things. Jobs come and go. Divorce or death of a spouse changes how you would identify. The loss of your parents - though I’d still consider myself a daughter, I’d then also be considered an orphan.
Our outward circumstances are always shifting and changing, sometimes gradually, sometimes very suddenly. We are constantly having to adjust to our new worlds, those involved in them, and how we identify in these new changes. We must be careful where we find our sense of worth, identity and purpose.
Although it seems we are always entering a new chapter or phase in life, and that the only predictable thing in life is, change, I do believe we have an overall purpose for a life. Though there are times when this may change, or be different for a season, I believe there is an underlying purpose that is always the same.
We may be called to serve the less fortunate, but this will look different when we are in high school, newly married, young parents, or retired. At different times in life we will have more money or more time to give to the things that matter the most to us. When we are in high school we may feel called to go on missions trips, but once we are married and starting a family, we may still feel the call to missions but are better able to give financially to support someone else who can go.
I love reading books like Your Beautiful Purpose, because I get this hope that, finally, I will figure out what my purpose is! This book contains 12 chapters and has study questions, that include a short bible study, followed by discussion starters. Though I only made it to 2-3 of the 6 sessions of the actual group study, I actually took the time to go through all the questions at the end of each chapter and thoughtfully and honestly write out my answers.
I enjoyed the read, the questions were thought provoking, and the videos I watched were good. Yet here I am, at the end of it all, sitting here, wondering, what on earth is my purpose? Why am I here? What am I meant to do?
I’ve been sitting in this spot, asking these same questions, time and time again.
Ok, so I am a wife and I am to love and respect my husband. I am also a stay at home mom, so this should be easier, as I have more time to devote to being a help mate, by cooking, cleaning and helping to run the house (note, this does not mean my husband does nothing around the house, just that I have more time than he does, as he works full time).
To be honest, always being respectful and loving is easier said than done, but at least it gives me a goal to aim for. Is this really my sole purpose in life? I doubt it. I think it’s part of my life, and as a Christian wife, the bible calls me to be respectful and loving to my husband, but I believe there is more to my life than that.
I am a mother. God has, so far, entrusted to me two amazing, energetic, challenging, daughters. They challenge me every day, exposing the worst of my character flaws. They challenge me to want to be a better woman, wife and mother. I am suppose to raise these kids by example, and some moments, that’s really, really, really hard.
So part of my purpose is to raise my children to be half decent people in the world. To nurture their God given talents and abilities, to instill in them the best character traits and values that I can, and help them to be hard working, honest, contributing members of society. I am to love them with all I have, even when it’s the hardest thing and a situation calls for some tough love.
However, in the midst of daily life, in the midst of feeling extremely overwhelmed, on the days I can’t even bring myself to get dressed, let alone go conquer the world, when supper is take out again and the laundry is piled high, how am I accomplishing any of my Kingdom Purpose?
As a Christian, I believe God has a purpose for my life. Yes, as Christians, we are called to love God with all our heart, soul and strength, and to love others. We are called to be forgiving, compassionate and merciful. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 NIV.
How does all this apply to my life? What does loving others look like in my life? At this moment, I feel like I am barely taking care of myself or my family, and I have no money to give to other ministries. How can I love others, when I can barely even function? How can I bring a meal to someone in need when I am barely feeding my own family? How can I help someone out with free babysitting, when I am barely taking care of my own kids?
How is sitting in my house, in my pjs, kids only in diapers, crying over my laptop, fulfilling any Kingdom Purpose in my life?
How are dirty floors, cluttered countertops, overflowing master bedroom and piles of laundry, involved in my purpose?
As I said, I understand there are different seasons in life, and there are times when we can give more (sometimes time, sometimes money). There are times of waiting on God and times of great blessing and great accomplishment.
For me, however, I find that I am stuck. I may be in a time of waiting, but waiting for what? If I had a purpose, a goal, a dream, a vision, anything, I’d have a better understanding of what to do with my life. There would still be laundry and dishes, dirty floors and messy rooms, but when opportunities arise, if I had a vision or purpose in mind, I’d know what to say yes to and what to say no to. I’d see how and where volunteering what little extra time I have, would play into the large picture for my life. I would know what activities to get myself or my kids involved in, without overwhelming myself and my family, doing things that I think are good or right, without any real meaning or purpose behind them.
I guess, in the end, after it’s all said and done, I am feeling stuck and dry. Stuck where I am now, feeling completely overwhelmed with no hope of it ever changing (though deep down I know this isn’t true, it’s a hard mindset to break away from). And dry, with no dream in my heart, no vision for my future, no overall purpose for my life. I am just living my life, day in and day out, some days are good, others are ok, some terrible. I am trying to make the best out of my life as I can, mostly in survival mode right now. I watch others lives from afar and wish I could do some of the things they are able to do. I envy those who appear to be living life with a purpose, or are, at the very least, from the outside, happy.
I love my husband. I love my children. But I am definitely in a time of questioning and wondering.
What am I here for?
What is my purpose? For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with questions about my identity, worth and purpose. As I am sure almost every person does, male or female, young and old, religious, atheist, or otherwise.
I think we all go on a continuing journey of self discovery. And as we get older and enter new chapters in our lives, our sense of identity, worth and purpose changes.
I think, for me anyway, we tend to look at our outside circumstances as a way of identifying who we are. I am a daughter (Daughter-in-law), a sister (sister-in-law), a niece, a wife, a mother. If we have a job or career, we can find identity in this as well. There are things about these identities that will always be a part of me. I will always be a daughter, even after my parents are gone. If anything were to happen to my brother, I’d still consider myself a sister. No matter what happens to my kids, I will forever be a mother at heart.
There’s also a downfall in gaining our identify solely with outward things. Jobs come and go. Divorce or death of a spouse changes how you would identify. The loss of your parents - though I’d still consider myself a daughter, I’d then also be considered an orphan.
Our outward circumstances are always shifting and changing, sometimes gradually, sometimes very suddenly. We are constantly having to adjust to our new worlds, those involved in them, and how we identify in these new changes. We must be careful where we find our sense of worth, identity and purpose.
Although it seems we are always entering a new chapter or phase in life, and that the only predictable thing in life is, change, I do believe we have an overall purpose for a life. Though there are times when this may change, or be different for a season, I believe there is an underlying purpose that is always the same.
We may be called to serve the less fortunate, but this will look different when we are in high school, newly married, young parents, or retired. At different times in life we will have more money or more time to give to the things that matter the most to us. When we are in high school we may feel called to go on missions trips, but once we are married and starting a family, we may still feel the call to missions but are better able to give financially to support someone else who can go.
I love reading books like Your Beautiful Purpose, because I get this hope that, finally, I will figure out what my purpose is! This book contains 12 chapters and has study questions, that include a short bible study, followed by discussion starters. Though I only made it to 2-3 of the 6 sessions of the actual group study, I actually took the time to go through all the questions at the end of each chapter and thoughtfully and honestly write out my answers.
I enjoyed the read, the questions were thought provoking, and the videos I watched were good. Yet here I am, at the end of it all, sitting here, wondering, what on earth is my purpose? Why am I here? What am I meant to do?
I’ve been sitting in this spot, asking these same questions, time and time again.
Ok, so I am a wife and I am to love and respect my husband. I am also a stay at home mom, so this should be easier, as I have more time to devote to being a help mate, by cooking, cleaning and helping to run the house (note, this does not mean my husband does nothing around the house, just that I have more time than he does, as he works full time).
To be honest, always being respectful and loving is easier said than done, but at least it gives me a goal to aim for. Is this really my sole purpose in life? I doubt it. I think it’s part of my life, and as a Christian wife, the bible calls me to be respectful and loving to my husband, but I believe there is more to my life than that.
I am a mother. God has, so far, entrusted to me two amazing, energetic, challenging, daughters. They challenge me every day, exposing the worst of my character flaws. They challenge me to want to be a better woman, wife and mother. I am suppose to raise these kids by example, and some moments, that’s really, really, really hard.
So part of my purpose is to raise my children to be half decent people in the world. To nurture their God given talents and abilities, to instill in them the best character traits and values that I can, and help them to be hard working, honest, contributing members of society. I am to love them with all I have, even when it’s the hardest thing and a situation calls for some tough love.
However, in the midst of daily life, in the midst of feeling extremely overwhelmed, on the days I can’t even bring myself to get dressed, let alone go conquer the world, when supper is take out again and the laundry is piled high, how am I accomplishing any of my Kingdom Purpose?
As a Christian, I believe God has a purpose for my life. Yes, as Christians, we are called to love God with all our heart, soul and strength, and to love others. We are called to be forgiving, compassionate and merciful. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 NIV.
How does all this apply to my life? What does loving others look like in my life? At this moment, I feel like I am barely taking care of myself or my family, and I have no money to give to other ministries. How can I love others, when I can barely even function? How can I bring a meal to someone in need when I am barely feeding my own family? How can I help someone out with free babysitting, when I am barely taking care of my own kids?
How is sitting in my house, in my pjs, kids only in diapers, crying over my laptop, fulfilling any Kingdom Purpose in my life?
How are dirty floors, cluttered countertops, overflowing master bedroom and piles of laundry, involved in my purpose?
As I said, I understand there are different seasons in life, and there are times when we can give more (sometimes time, sometimes money). There are times of waiting on God and times of great blessing and great accomplishment.
For me, however, I find that I am stuck. I may be in a time of waiting, but waiting for what? If I had a purpose, a goal, a dream, a vision, anything, I’d have a better understanding of what to do with my life. There would still be laundry and dishes, dirty floors and messy rooms, but when opportunities arise, if I had a vision or purpose in mind, I’d know what to say yes to and what to say no to. I’d see how and where volunteering what little extra time I have, would play into the large picture for my life. I would know what activities to get myself or my kids involved in, without overwhelming myself and my family, doing things that I think are good or right, without any real meaning or purpose behind them.
I guess, in the end, after it’s all said and done, I am feeling stuck and dry. Stuck where I am now, feeling completely overwhelmed with no hope of it ever changing (though deep down I know this isn’t true, it’s a hard mindset to break away from). And dry, with no dream in my heart, no vision for my future, no overall purpose for my life. I am just living my life, day in and day out, some days are good, others are ok, some terrible. I am trying to make the best out of my life as I can, mostly in survival mode right now. I watch others lives from afar and wish I could do some of the things they are able to do. I envy those who appear to be living life with a purpose, or are, at the very least, from the outside, happy.
I love my husband. I love my children. But I am definitely in a time of questioning and wondering.
What am I here for?
Am I where I am suppose to be right now?
If God is real and He still talks to His people today, why do I never personally hear from Him?
Is what I am doing all I am meant to be doing? Or is there more?
What is my purpose?
